"Greetings. A small group of extremely cult underground metal personalities are looking to occupy a very grim house/shed/etc for a few months starting in February. Ideally there would be a basement or other subterranean lair suitable for rehearsal/recording for our colossal extreme doom/black metal supergroup, which is what we are going to the area to accomplish. It is okay if there is no running water as long as the dungeon is suitable for very cult metal. Electricity is not necessarily a must but nonetheless would be very convenient. Also it is necessary that there be some area where it would not be a problem to have torches burning eternally, as well as an occasional raging bonfire. It needs to be pointed out that we are all quite poor, and do not need some posh/modern/professional/clean/etc sort of place to live, simply a torture dungeon where we can turn up our amps loud and carry out sacrificial blessing rituals as well as epic strength training, at a cost that is not the result of fancy interiors and cool-looking anything. Let me know if you know anywhere that sounds like it might work. You can live with us there too, I suppose, as long as you are obscure and have a dark personality."